Things I learned this past weekend...

1. If you surround yourself with good people, you feel good (yes, in theory I've known this but visiting friends this weekend was a nice reminder).

2. It's okay to argue - healthy even - but the way you argue is even more important than the argument itself.

3. If you see a turquoise elephant, you buy it.

I just thought it was a cute quote...

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Think about what's holding you back. Really think about it and try to truly identify it. Most of the time, I project my insecurities onto outside forces - more tangible things. But when I really contemplate it, I'm the only thing that's holding me back. My own insecurities are my downfall.

Time for a change I suppose.

Quarter of a century

Your twenties are an awkward time - no one ever tells you that. No one ever tells you the unrest that you'll feel, the war that wages as you try to figure out how to evolve into the person you want to be, while trying to make sense of the person you once were. The last time this type of identity crisis occurred, you had the yearbook photos to match this awkward moment in time - your body struggling to fill out or slim down, braces, glasses, frizzy hair. Trying to cope while trying to blend in. But the type of soul searching you do in your twenties happens alone, introspectively, and those taunts from your peers are nothing compared to the harsh things you think and say to yourself - the judgements you pass because you don't feel like you're where you need to be.

Someone asked me today how it felt to be 25 (not quuuiiiite there yet) and honestly, it doesn't feel horrible. I have worked hard to create some order in my life and it's a struggle I wrestle with daily. Sometimes, I feel like a duck on a pond - still above the water, but beneath the surface, my legs are furiously churning, just trying to stay afloat. In the present, I am constantly trying to figure out who I want to be and what influence my past has on my future. But I can't forget to be thankful that I have the luxury of self-reflection and regulation. I can't forget to live my life as it happens now.

Friday Ramblings...

This is how I feel about the below post...I apologize for what is to follow...actually? No. I'm sorry I'm not sorry....

I'm in an odd-yet-familiar mood today. I'm restless. I'm longing for my bed, but annoyed at myself for wanting to waste a day away. I want something to eat, but I'm not hungry. I'm inspired but am without motivation. I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, but want to fill them idly.

I was thinking today about why I blog in the first place. On the surface, it seems contrary to the things I believe in. I don't like technology, I strongly dislike social networking sites, (I have a facebook, but am not sure why at this point...side note...my opinion on facebook can be summed up by this question: Would someone as cool as Steve McQueen make his relationship, "facebook official?" No. So why should your boyfriend be expected to do the same?) and yet, I am part of this "blogosphere." I know I only have a handful of readers, but that doesn't matter - I am still using technology as my medium. It should bother me. It should bother me that I often browse other blogs or tumblrs - this should seem like time spent wasted. But it's not.

When I see some of these images, they become a part of me. My imagination wanders like it did when I was a child and I create stories around these images and posts and they instill themselves in my mind. I used to have an inner novel, constantly being written and edited in my head. And that slowly went away as I "matured." It came back for a bit while I was an undergrad, taking some of my creative writing classes, and then I quickly made it disappear when I no longer was fond of what I was writing up there. I kept it hidden because I was was afraid of what I was going to find if I let it run free again.

And yet...here I am. Slowly letting it unravel yet again. I am finally inspired again. And if I stumble upon something up there that I don't necessarily like...I'll cut myself some slack, know that everyone feels this way sometimes, and move on with my life.

 

Yup. My mom used to tell me something similar...

 via crushculdesac

via etiquetteforalady

Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. 

They are a very human way of making life more bearable.

Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. 

Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. 

You will have created something.

— Kurt Vonnegut

 Diamonds lack character, if you ask me...

via modernhepburn