2012 Olympics

via hemingwaycool

Though the opening ceremonies aren't until Friday, today is the actual start of the games with the US Soccer team playing today at noon. The Olympics always bring out a lot of different emotions in people - pride, wistfulness, the mourning of dreams for some, the hopes for the future in others. I probably wont watch most of the games this summer, I'm just not into it, (who knows though, I may catch the spirit, as they say) but I am pulling for Michael Phelps. If he wins three medals this year, (in the last games of his career) he will be the most decorated Olympian of all time. If I do happen to turn on the TV and the equestrian events are on, I'll most likely watch, but unless I'm up at 2am, that probably wont happen. That always used to bother me as a kid - I was really into the games but I never got to watch the events I cared about the most. Regardless, I wish all the athletes the best of luck - I couldn't imagine competing for something that meant so much to me.

I'm baaaack

So after a slight hiatus, I begin again. Though my absence has probably not been missed by many, I have felt the slight void in my life where my blog used to reside. Admittedly, I have been pretty uninspired as of late, but I have also been busy doing and being.  I'm continuing my research, (so much to read, seriously, never ending!) started another class, have visited friends, met new friends, taken a few trips to the beach, attended a jazz festival!, been trying some new restaurants and wine...needless to say I have been enjoying my summer.

I decided the best way to dive back in was to write about a recent article I read in the NY Times, "Friends of a certain age: Why is it so hard to make friends after 30?" Now you're probably saying to yourself, "wait, she's not over 30?!" and I thank you for remembering that, but I think this article raises a lot of good points that hit close to home for many post-college people. I've written a lot about friendships over the past few months, as I began to realize just how important my relationships are to me in my life, and that will never change. I have my group of girl friends that I lived with in college that are like sisters to me, and I have a girl friend I've grown up with who is literally like a member of my family, even when we go without talking for a while. But making new friends? I feel like that's a daunting task when you are no longer living in a community that fosters adventure and new friendships.

 Friendship Stage 1: In college, the more the merrier

In the past, I've always hung out with different "types" of people. In college, I know my friends, (my now sisters) would sometimes look at me like I was crazy when I would hang out with some of the people that I did. But truth be told, I didn't care about what that girl did on Saturday nights because that's not when I hung out with her, and I didn't care that the group of guys I hung out with were a little "quirky" because they kept me laughing. I always felt a little strange that I never really have one single group of friends - like I was missing out on something. But maybe, what the article suggests about "adult" friendships is true: maybe it's best that we have certain friends for certain things. As we get older, who we are becomes clearer, and our needs from other people become more apparent and demanding. So then it becomes okay to have a workout buddy, and a reading buddy, and the friend you know you can always count on to have a few drinks with. I think that we can count on the fact that as we grow older and our lives change even more, the way we go about making friends and keeping relationships will have to change as well. And I think that's okay.

So I have this problem...

My problem is that when someone in my life is going through something, I want to fix, help, meddle, <inject any hovering-type verb here>. The thing is, I want to do something. And that tends to be what people don't want or need. (John has actually said this to me before, "Ash, sometimes you want to do too much). This summer John is literally making a different in people's lives. There's a lot on his plate and of course I want to help.

But of course, he wont let me. Not only is John fiercely independent, but he is as stubborn as they come. This is something he needs to do on his own, as people often want to do. There have been so many times I have wanted to help the people in my life but I just can't. It's frustrating but it's a necessity of life. After all, I rarely take the help offered to me, so deep down, I do understand.

So my solution? Bake, of course. That way when all else fails, the people who I love in my life have delicious (and nutritious) snacks to take comfort in.

Because, what I've learned recently is that people don't need you to do, they need you to be. Be there for them no matter what.

PB Banana Oatmeal Squares