Kids are funny

 

Children attending a puppet show in Paris

Part of what drove me to become a teacher is the simple fact that kids - of all ages - are funny. Like the time my brother, who was about 13 at the time, said to me, quite frankly, "You know Ash, you can get an app on your ipod for places like match.com, you could find a boyfriend." My mother laughed hysterically. The thing was, he wasn't saying that for a laugh, he genuinely was concerned about my lack of romantic prospects at the time. Or when the little girls I babysit tell me I'm more like a mom, not a babysitter, or when I wear my hair differently and they notice: "Your hair looks good today Ashley." "Does it look bad the other days?" I ask. They look me over closely, recalling past days, "Yeah."

Yesterday, I had a group of about twenty five 7th graders, who were completing a "What is Success?" packet, (don't even get me started on the nature of the assignment, I was just administering it). I decided that I would complete it with them. The first question had a list of attributes and you had to pick the 5 you thought were most indicative of a you as a "successful adult." I chose: having enough money to pay the bills, doing good for society, having a steady job, having a place to live, and other, under which I wrote "happy." Popular answers among the 12 year olds were: having a lot of money, having a big house, being famous, and getting married, the latter I found to be of a shock. Then, one student said aloud to the class, "Miss, you didn't list getting married!" Another, "Do you not want to get married?!?" Jaws dropped, expectant eyes turned to me.

Hmm...I was at a crossroads. Tell then how I really feel or fudge the truth, toe the line, realize that whatever I say can and will be repeated. Deep breath. "Well," I started, "I don't know." Honest. Vague. 

"Miss, you wanna die alone?!" 

Wait, how did this happen?

To clarify, "Well, I don't know, just because I don't want to get married doesn't mean I'll die alone..."

"Miss, you don't want kids?!" 

Oy. Did my mother send these kids here? "Wait a minute, wait a minute, I didn't check getting married because you could only check five and there were just other things that I felt were more important." This answer seemed to satisfy them. 

The next question was: Where do you see yourself in ten years? I officially entered my nightmare. 

"Miss, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up!"

"Miss, I'll be 22 in ten years, I don't know!" 

"That's good," I said. "You're young, you don't have to know. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know where I'll be in ten years." 

"Yeah, but you're already an adult, you're already doing, that doesn't count, you should already know!"

Yeah. Kids are hilarious.